The Unbearable Burdens of Ella-May Todd: Chapter 4

http://amongthestarsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/06/chapter-one-of-my-short-story.html
Link to the first chapter :) Keep Reading!
     

The Unbearable Burdens of Ella-may Todd

Chapter 4:

         

                             I sat up in the back, We had arrived at a modern-looking apartment.

My face was puffy and sticky from my tears I could barely open my eyes. I felt like I was done I wished that I could just stop just give up. There was no other way to say It then I was just simply just tired.

          And then I ask myself why? why does this have to be my life? I was never a bad person but yet somehow I was caught up in losing everything that had ever made me smile even just a little.

As I sat there in deep thoughts, a strange memory came to me. I was eight, My father was being treated for cancer and it was finally going away. I remember him on radiation when I was younger he always looked so...broken but he was finally getting better little did we know years to come the cancer would come back for revenge and stronger than ever, I had stayed with My grandma, I was more of baby-sitting her she was old, she had dementia. She kept calling me Sady. I was holding my favorite orange cat next to the window and then in came a nurse from the nursing home and said "bit stuffy isn't it?" I remember just looking at her, she opened the window and then out goes Willy my cat. My mother tried to say he was free now but it did not dry my tears he was my best friend. We never found Willy, for all I know he got turned into road kill. I don't know why all that mattered now an hour after my own daughter's funeral. I guess I just liked to torture myself. Oh me and all my tortured thoughts. Sometimes life just seems like chapters of goodbyes. There are no forever's.

           "Ella, please! for the fifth time just answer me! its ok." I snapped out of my thoughts and I opened my door got out of the car and leaned against the door I had slammed shut. Falcon got out and retrieved a small key painted black from his pocket and walked towards apartment 13. I followed reluctantly. He hastily shoved the key into the lock an turned it he opened the door and cool air wooshed out. He stepped inside flicked a light on and set keys down on a table I followed him in he told me to sit down and like a robot I obeyed I didn't have my own thoughts, I didn't know what to do I had to be ordered. I felt like nothingness. I sat down on the burgundy leather couch. He went into the connected kitchen and rummaged in the cupboards. He brought back a handful of vanilla wafers and a glass of iced water with a lemon.

                  " I wasn't hungry." I said in a monotone voice not even looking him in the eyes. "I don't care just drink." he said and I did, the water felt good on my aching throat although I claimed I wasn't hungry or thirsty. "I looked Mr.Valentino up before the funeral. I know where his 'office' is. It's past St. boulevard, in the slums." Falcon had a look of disgust on his face as he spoke of my daughters possible murder. As the words reached my ears I felt my insides turn grey like snow next to a city street.
                 Tears streamed down my face. It was too much I didn't have to be strong. Falcon squatted in front of me and looked into my eyes as I cried. My tear dripped of the end of my nose and onto his cheek. I put my hand on his cheek and wiped the tear away with my thumb. He put his hands onto my shoulder and pulled me into a sweet hug my nose was in the crook of his shoulder and neck I could smell Abercrombie and fitch, I just let him hold me. If anything was true at all it was that at that exact moment I deserved to be held more than anyone else. I had lost everything and I had nothing to gain. I pulled away after a moment and said " Well are we going there or not?" "Wha? OH! yeah!" Falcon had just been pulled from a deep thought. He grabbed keys off the table, and headed out the door in a jog faster then my brain could process what he just did. But I headed my way to the car. I sat in the front passenger seat this time and when did falcon smiled at me with a bright smile and then quickly turned it into a smirk in the mirror hiding his happiness that I had chose to sit beside him. He backed out of the driveway and turned left. Towards the slums. We passed Jimmy's grocery store. Donnas dollar store. and some fancy new Mexican restaurant. It was about a mile before we saw anything else other than the open road and trees, we passed a old burnt down clinic and turned into the road just beside it. I saw apartment buildings with nasty graffiti'd words on the building and some gang names. there were trailers that didn't belong in the parking lot. I didn't even think this apartment had a landlord, when we drove further in I learned it didn't. The entire left side of the building had been destroyed by a huge tree revealing kids playing in what was remaining of those rooms.
     We pulled farther in and in front of a trailer. "There. that's his place." Falcon said. I opened the door and walked up to his place, Falcon stopped me and placeed something cool and steel in my hand it was a handgun. I looked up at him my mouth open " no! this is the very thing that killed my daughter." "wrong. a person killed your daughter." I put the gun in my shirt hidden away in my bra in case I needed it. I walked up and knocked on the door 3 times and it opened i looked down to see a small shirtless child. "Are you coming to take me away?" he said "no, is Manny here?" I replied.......
To be continued.



I had planned on posting chapter 4 of my short story too my blog but that is not happening I need inspiration so hopefully by Friday you can see what happens to Ella! sorry :(

CHAPTER 3!

Please read previous chapters to avoid spoilers, and more than anything, COMMENT!(: tell me your opinion♥ Kaylee L.

The Unbearable Burdens of Ella-May Todd

Chapter 3:

                   Nervousness. That's all I could explain it as, I sat in my cell and I heard were footsteps walking down the hall and clink of many keys. The jailor shoved the key into the lock and twisted it I heard many prisoners whistling...most likely at Falcon although I do not know what he looks like, I know these women will whistle at anything that's male....or female...that has a beating heart, the jailor was a serious grumpy looking woman. She had curly black hair that was in a bob. She was short and chubby. "You were arrested august 3rd for a misdemeanor, first offense and are being bailed out on the day of august 4th at 2:00 p.m. for $650. Do you understand?" said the woman in a monotone rehearsed voice "Uh yea I do." she uncuffed me and I walked out of the small white cell with the big thick white door. "You must be Falcon." I said with a smile to a tall blonde man with a 5:00 o' clock shadow and a bright white smile. "being bailed out of jail for assault 4th with a smile, unlikely. you must be Ella."  "i'm just really excited you're helping me." we talked and walked across the street to the police station to sign papers confirming my release and get court days. My daughter's funeral today and I'm finding out when I need to be in court. What a stinking life. We signed the papers it was a quick painless process. Surprisingly.

                   "First thing is first I have to make sure my grandmother is okay with my brother." said Falcon running his hands through his long ashy blonde hair with a stern look in his chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't help but gawk at him, I knew I was being quiet but he was downright gorgeous. "uhm yeah ok." i said a little delayed. "Can you drop me off at Pine street.. I need to get ready for my daughter's funeral." I say it so naturally but inside it breaks. Maybe falcon can read me because a few moments later he put his big hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring 'it's ok' squeeze "sure, of course I have to head that way anyway i'll drop you off and come back in an hour ok Ella?" he called me Ella.. only Rodney my presumed dead husband called me Ella, Everyone else called me Ella-May or Ms.Todd."That's great. Thank you so much Mr. Jones, I'm a stranger but I already know that you're amazing." "no problem I've been there and you're gonna need a bit of help. And call me Falcon." "Can we go to Natalie's funeral after you pick me up?" "yes." he said. We drove to pine street and the rode in his red 2009 avenger, it was quick and smooth. I got out of the car and waved goodbye and headed towards the front door, I hadn't been here since I got the call that nearly ruined my life forever.

                  I was on the front porch. The porch I walked across when rushing to the car when I went into labor with my first and only child. The porch I walked upon when carrying my newborn home. The porch my baby took her first steps across at 11 months. I put my hand on the door. The door she walked out the night she died only 16 short years later. I wipe my eyes, and put on a brave face. 

           I walked through the door. Dang it I left the air-conditioner on for 3 days with the windows and doors closed it's FREEZING in here.Oh why was I worrying about being chilled or my electric bill. My daughter was dead it's not like i need to maintain a stable life anyway. Maybe I  would end up like my insane mother depressing myself with the ghosts of the past until I jump over the edge. No! shut up Ella-may I also left my cappuccino sitting which had separated and drawn ants my Sherlock mystery book lay open to the page I was on and my IPhone lay cracked on the hardwood floor from when I dropped it at hearing the news. I stopped lingering on all these depressing memories I had to leave my ghosts behind or I'd never find Natalie's Murderer. I needed to focus on getting ready, I gathered clothes and walked to my bathroom, I turned the shower fully on hot and tweaked the cold knob. Steam arose and covers the mirror with condensation I looked in the mirror and wiped it with my palm smearing away a section of the fog  I saw so much of Natalie in myself, from the curly blonde hair, if it was a lot longer, to the blue eyes and the light freckles sprinkled across my nose. The only difference is that I have many more age-tellers on my face. I was in and out of the shower in 10 minutes I dried off and got dressed.

              I brushed through my short curly golden  locks and quickly blow dried them and fluffed it. I applied one layer of mascara to my lashes and a pink glossy lip gloss. I dressed in a dress with a black  knee length skirt with a  white and black floral print bodice and a white bow around the waist. I finished it all with short black heels and a black veiled Pill box hat.

         And then there was a knock at the door, and standing there was Falcon with Black trousers, dress shoes, white button up shirt, black tie and complete with a black over jacket. " are you ready?" he said seriously. "not really." he took my hand and held it loosely and he led me to his car I sat up front and stayed completely quiet the entire ride when we pulled into the church next to  the cemetary he parked and looked at me which I could only tell from my perephorial vision, I continued to stare out the window like I was oblivious that we had reached our destination.
         He set his hand on my knee and squeezed and said "come on." I got out and I could already feel the tears stinging my yes as we walked towards the graveyard, the service was beautiful I assumed Natalie's boyfriend of five years' family put it together. Gosh they probably thought I was a terrible mother.    I watched as they lowered my baby girl. My only family other than my old crazy mother. I watched as they buried my ray of sunshine my best friend, my everything. The salty tears raced down my cheeks and I hiccupped. Her casket slowly disappearing into the soil I laid lilies on her grave. a grave that a sixteen year old should not have.  I no longer had any family. Falcon held my hand and I cried into his shoulder throughout the service. I could't take this my hear had been broken but this was ripping my heart out of my chest. I cried louder then anyone there, I had that right, mother of the year or not. I didn't wanna hear another I'm so sorry for your lost, if I did I think I would vomit in my mouth.  I refused to leave her headstone Falcon picked me up and carried me like a small child throwing a tantrum I beat on his back as he threw me over his shoulder and put me in the back seat of his car and quickly locked the door, I dry heaved and cried and laid own in the sat as he drove me not to his mee-maw's but to the apartment he still payed for.

                  
TO BE CONTINUED CHAPTER 4 ON 6/18/13 OR SOONER!!

I had to take my last name off for publishing.. More fitting this way anyways.

My Reflection of 2013 Global Graffiti Writing Program. (:

Well first of all it's the loudest writing I've ever heard! Haha, it can get a bit out of hand but that's all part of the process in a big room full of writers with ideas in their head. I felt like this experience  opened up a big door for me. Without this program I never would've thought to put my writing on the internet....yeah I guess I'm pretty slow at catching on to all the technology around me. I hope to continue my short story, The Unbearable Burdens of Ella-May Todd and maybe turn it into something even more than a 'short' story. After I finish that 'short' story, I hope to branch-out from writing realistic fiction steer more towards Fantasy-Ficton which I am more familiar with but yet still stay with the action and excuse me, but gore of it. I being my unique self love morbid tragic stories, that show courage and strength and that's the message I try to get across  in my stories. My advice for all future and current writers of the world is, keep believing but stop dreaming!!! Make it come true. Don't be a dweller, because dwellers are never a part they just sit upon life and well..dwell.
   
             Life does not do to dwell on dreams.
                                             ~Albus Dumbledore. Order of Phoenix. Harry Potter series.
                                                         

With love, yours truly, Kaylee ♥

My Inspiring Quotes

                                           My inspiring quotes♥

                

           you don't have to be a size zero to be beautiful. You're the beautiful one it's society that's ugly.

-Marilyn Monroe

If i'm gonna die i wanna die being me.

- Peeta mellark. The Hunger Games

Life does not do to dwell on dreams

-Albus dumbledore. Order of phoneix

Fear is stupid. But so are regrets because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

-Marilyn Monroe

900 years of time and space and i've never met someone who isn't important

-The Doctor

Living forever is not what's expected. Everyone leaves and you end up alone

-The Doctor

                        

Life is hard and if it isn't you're wrong

-Marilyn Monroe

look at all the beauty still left around us and be happy

-Anne Frank

You're the weak one. you'll never know love ,friendship, or comapassion and i feel sorry for you

- Harry potter. the order of phoniex

If you don't get burned you'll never know it's hot.

-Josh Ramsay

yes you are imagining it but why would that mean it isn't real?

- Albus Dumbledore. The deathly Hallows

I do not love you for this. I love you for this and so much more.

-Ron Pope

I can be you're perfect disaster

-Josh Ramsay.

This place is a hole but i don't wanna go. i wanna stay here forever alone.

-Josh Ramsay

Nothing is going to change, unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, it's not!

-Dr.Seuss The Lorax

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. live a little taller. doesn't mean i'm lonely because i'm alone.

-Kelly Clarkson

Life sucks. Then you die.

-Jacob Black. Breaking dawn: The twilight saga.

There are people that are gonna walk in  you're life, teach you a lesson, and then walk right back out. And that really hurts, hurts a lot. especially when you cared for them so much.

-Kaylee Lane A.K.A .Me ♥

Chapter two of my short story :)

Go see chapter one!!!! http://amongthestarsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/06/chapter-one-of-my-short-story.html

The unbearable burdens of Ella-May Todd

Chapter 2:

                 I  went and identified her body. Her lifeless cold body. My insides turned themselves inside out.

There were big ugly black stitches on her temple. The entire left side of her once beautiful so smooth face was swollen the morticians attempted to cover the wound but she was mangled too badly.  Her blonde curls covered her right side and her piercing blue eyes lay open. They looked glazed. Like she was in another world, although I didn't want to remember my bubbly blonde daughter as a stone cold statue, I couldn't tear my eyes away. It hit me hard as I stared at her lifeless body.

                I walked out of the room and went to the lobby it was as cold as ice and I could smell the distinct smell of Formaldehyde. Hospitals are icky, morgues are downright disgusting, creepy, terrible. The worst place to set foot into in the entire cosmos. I'd wish anything away if in return I could be in a hospital now instead by my daughter's bedside. Anger had bubbled and brewed inside me angry tears raged down my face. I stormed out of there not even picking up her death certificate, or discussing funeral and visitation venues. I didn't want the stupid certificate I should be discussing the venues of her upcoming birthday. I slammed the car door didn't bother buckling up and sped out of the parking lot, my tires squealing, I smelled the burnt rubber. I ran a stop sign... Two. I didn't care. I whipped into the Parks driveway, ran over a rose bush. I didn't care.

           I ran up the cobblestone pathway, there were police cars all over the street. Mia Parks had been one of the 3 who got shot at...she wasn't hit. Danny Adams got shot in the leg.. he's in surgery. I wish Natalie was Mia. Even Danny. All the police were questioning Mia over and over again she had no information other than the shooters were 2 Hispanics and a Caucasian man. So the Wintersville times says...I beat a Mr. and Mrs. Parks door with my fist. " LET ME IN NOW I NEED IN!" I yelled loudly. I heard Mrs. Parks stilettos click across the floor.  Mrs. Parks answered the door camera ready and tear free. she had ruby red lips matching her ruby red heels, her eyes so clumped in mascara it looked like spiders took place of her eyelashes. Her black hair cascading over her white button up blouse "What in the heav- oh Ms.Todd I'm so sorry!" Ella-May was a rather short woman but with Mrs.Parks wearing 8 inches of expensive heels she towered over her.
        she bent down and awkwardly wrapped her arms around me. I pushed her back off of me. "Brenda I'm fine.you don't wanna mess up your lipstick." I put a stern hard look on my face making me look aged by about five years "I need to see Mia. The detectives have done nothing, you have to do everything on your own these days now,either show me to her room or move out of my way!" I said rudely. I didn't care though, that seemed to be a pattern lately. " Now Ella calm yourself down you must be in shock, let me make you some tea." she said in the snooty stuck up way that I always hated about the parks. From the day my Natalie and Mia became friends in 8th grade. Mia had always been jealous of Natalie, she was the pretty, smart blonde, while Mia was the less then average ginger.  "Brenda! I don't want any dam-" I stopped myself before I finished the sentence. Like my father told me when I was young, patience child anger gets you nowhere. "Look, I just need to see her for a second and ask what they did that night and if there was anything Natalie could've done to motivate the suspects." my voice cracked at Natalie's name.
               "Fine, come speak to Mia if you'd wish but i'll assure you that she had nothing to do with your daughters murder." Mrs. Parks said defensively " I never accused your daughter of anything Mrs. Parks.."  I pushed her out of the way and went up to the room i knew was Mia's pushed a chubby policeman out of the way and barged my way into Mia's room. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER!" I striked her across the face in anger and she fell back with her hand on her cheek she went back with a yelp.
as soon as I did it i regretted it. The next hours were a complete blur for me. I was taken into custody, and i ended up in an orange jumpsuit. And blonde and Orange don't go together.
             it was loud, and I didn't use my call yet, I had no one to call, my mom was in the looney bin. She was complete looney toons. she went off the deep end once my father passed away, i grew up in an orphanage, they occasionally let me go to visit her. She never talked just hummed. I sat in my cell for what felt like three days, but really only one night . It was one assault charge! the worst thing I've done in a criminal record is got a parking ticket...Which I paid!
        They took me to lunch in cuffs and finally uncuffed me so I  could eat. I sat down and picked at the orange-ish gross looking peas, when  something interesting caught my ear. "so what's it like dating a hitman Maria?" I heard loud giggles from the group of hispanic women behind me. "well let me just say it's pretty interesting, he got his first customer in a long time yesterday he had some help with the job. he writes a letter everyday." "what's his name again Maria? "Manny Valentino"  I went down to the jailor "mam can i please have my phone call?" "of course" she lead me down to a rigged up damaged payphone that you didn't pay for. i was about to make an enemy for mistaken prank call, or my sidekick. Like Sherlock and Watson. I dialed the number 1-859-595-1313 riiiiiiinnnngggg riiiiiiinnnng "hello? is this working? helloo? I need my hearing aid" "mee-maw hand me the phone" "Hi my name is Ella-May Todd I know I'm a stranger but I really need your help, but first where were you the night of the second?  "umm, bingo with my mee-maw, I'm her caretaker." said a man about my age. "my daughter was murdered the night of the second. It was her first time driving alone, I set out to find her shooter, I started at one of her friends who survived the shooting, I hit the girl because I felt she had something to do with it, and now i'm in the county jail, but while in here i found out that a new hitman just got a customer the same night my daughter was killed she was only 16!" "Todd your time is almost up!" "I have to talk fast, I need your help, bail me out i'll pay you back, look up the name Manny Valentino anywhere! craigslist! God I don't care please help me! i'm begging!do anything to help please!" I broke down in tears begging. "My name is Falcon. Falcon Jones. My mother was killed by a hitman. I'll help you. I'll hunt with you I'm going to the bank to take out a loan and i'll be right there."

 END OF CHAPTER TWO. TO BE CONTINUED.

My Where I'm from poem

Where I'm from

       I am from quilts. Old lanterns and soda. 

    I am from a middle town house. Pasty white. 

                   

          I am from honeysuckles and the maple in my backyard.    

whose limbs long gone I remember. As if they were my own.

I'm from Caroline and Jeffery's.
I'm from singing and laughing too loud
from working hard and getting by

I'm from sit up! and chew quietly.
and you're only as tall as your heart will let you be.
I'm from taking long drives.

I'm from a small place in a big world.
potatoes and roast.
from group hugs with my 8 bestest friends.
and laughing till I lose my balance.

I'm from my keepsake box under my bed.
I'm from the origami he always makes me.
And the pictures I still have.
This  is where I'm from. ♥

 

6 word memoir

Chapter one of my short story (:

Please give me feedback to this! much appreciated, Kaylee.(:

(my 10 minutes of writing and writing piece.)

 

The unbearable burdens of  Ella-May Todd

Chapter 1:

      I think that everyone in this world breaks at some point. You're melting point. You can't bear the burdens of life anymore but then somehow we do it. How? You ask yourself. After that loss how can I try again. This is what I asked myself the day my daughter Natalie passed away. Sixteen and beautiful she had her entire life ahead of her.

         I watched as they lowered my baby girl. My only family other than my old crazy mother. I watched as they buried my ray of sunshine my best friend, my everything. The salty tears raced down my cheeks and I hiccupped. Her casket slowly disappearing into the soil I laid lilies on her grave. a grave that a sixteen year old should not have.

        I had lost everything in my life, when my daughter Natalie Todd was born I couldn't be more joyed. I had lost my father recently due to  colon cancer, a year after that my husband went missing in Albania on a business trip, just as I realized I had fell pregnant with our first and only child. They Never found my husband Rodney, I fear they have stopped searching. I named my bouncing blue eyed girl Natalie Renee Todd. We did everything together, until the night I decided she was responsible enough to do something on her own. leaving her death not only an unbearable grief to me but also my responsibility. It was all my fault. I had lost my only ray of happiness in this twister of life, and it was all my fault.

        It was august 2nd. 2 days before school was in session. she had just received her license and begged to use the car for one night on the town with her friends. I agreed. Stupid me. Stupid mother. It was 5:00 and she was ready to leave, but I wasn't quite ready to let her go yet I gave her the keys, brushed her curly golden hair aside and kissed her cheek. "Promise me you'll be careful?" "Mom, aren't I always?" "buckle up, and don't drive to fast." "mom, ok." Natalie said with a sweet giggle. "Natalie Todd I'm serious!" I smiled and yelled "You're butt better be back here by 10!" only joking but still serious all the same.  watched her pull out of the driveway and couldn't help but think my baby girl was finally growing up.

        I pulled a Sherlock mystery from the bookshelf and sat in my favorite recliner two hours into the book with my cup of cappuccino I got a call that made me go icy. *ring ring* "hello?" "Ms.Todd I'm afraid there has been a drive by shooting on main street...I don't know how to say this but...your daughter is deceased please come identify the body." I stopped my breathing my, heart got caught in my throat I was burning slowly burning someone please help. I don't know how my brain processed anything at that moment, but I knew I Ella-May Todd would go to the ends of this earth to find my daughters murder. I. Would. Not. Carry. This. Burden.

Link to chapter two:  http://amongthestarsgirl.blogspot.com/2013/06/chapter-two-of-my-short-story.html

        

Wanna know me?

 A little bit about me

My name is Kaylee Rilla Lane :) I am from Powell county Kentucky this is my first blog post. I love writing and Reading, it is probably the thing I put my time and energy into the most. I have always had an interest in school, but more then that, writing. It makes me happy. My entire life I have struggled making friends, so when I was younger I would invent characters to make myself feel like I'm not alone. As I grew older I found it easier to make friends. I have 7 close friends who I would do anything for. Writing can inspire people to do even bigger and better things than read, it can change a persons mind and save lives. I have had many hardships in life that I had to seek writing to get through, I didn't always have someone to confide in as a young child.I feel like those struggles helped me grow as not only a writer but a person.

My favorite writers

Some of my favorite writers include JoAnne Rowling, James Dashner, Suzanne Collins and all of the writers of the classic and new Doctor Who Series  (the British television show). These writers talk about how to look up in hard times and that inspires me. If you have one thing make sure it's endurance because that you will need, because life is hard and if it's easy you're not living it. 

 My favorite things 

This list could go on until the end of time but I will name just a few of them, I love superheroes and comics! Batman is my favorite superhero. My favorite comic is The Walking Dead. My favorite T.v. shows are: The Walking Dead, Doctor Who, and The Big Bang Theory.   MY favorite color is RED!(: My favorite food is popcorn. :)

Randomness

I have naturally light blonde hair but I recently dyed it light brown.:) I'm a female. I'm actually really shy. I catch on to tech stuff really quick. I hate my apple phone. I hate change, but have recently tried to incorporate healthy change into my life. I get emotionally attached to series of books or shows that I read and can relate to. :)

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

in ten years I will be almost 23 years old and I hope to see myself in college studying philosophy and writing. I would love to be a counselor or a work at a college with a degree, possibly a teacher. I definitely see myself with something published in 10 years and will continue writing throughout my life. Not only do I see myself at college I hope to have my own car, and either be living in a college dorm or my own apartment. At 23 years old I can see my life blossoming, and meeting new people maybe I'll even be married or engaged.